I recently came across USA Today Bestselling author Willow Aster’s blog post about finding balance within home, family and career. I hear this so much from authors wanting to find the perfect balance between the family they love and their love of writing.
“But of course, the stories don’t necessarily stop just because you want to take a break. I’m faced again with that constant dilemma: BALANCE.
As much as I want to master a healthy balance in my life, I can’t seem to get it! I either go too far into slacking, or I work non-stop like a maniac, or I obsess about all that isn’t getting done and work on all the wrong things…” ~ Willow Aster, Starry Skies and Fireflies
The truth is balance isn’t really about balance, it’s about having a FULL life and it’s making those choices consciously. Anywhere you want to have balance you are going to have to work at it. More importantly, you need to figure out exactly what balance means to YOU.
I don’t believe there is “a way” to find balance, there is only “your way” and for everyone it’s different. You have to figure out which things are most important to you in those moments (and see the trick is THOSE moments constantly change…and you should let them and go with the flow of them as much as possible.)
Balance isn’t a seesaw you need to straighten out, or a balance beam you need to walk across, and it’s not necessarily all equal. If anything it’s more like a pie, decide on how many slices of life belong in that pie, and then decide which parts get more of you, less of you, or equal amounts of you. Keep in mind, it’s also not set in stone. You ARE allowed to change your mind! (See above: Go with the flow!) NOTE: Don’t forget to add self-care, “me-time” and play into your balance. Because without them, you’ll never find what you’re looking for…
Once you’ve decided which aspects are most important to you, everything else will fall into line. Seriously. But you have to keep reminding yourself what is most IMPORTANT to YOU! I heard someone talk about their life coach and how they evaluated decisions. When you have a goal, always ask yourself the question: Does this get me closer to my goal (of balance)? If the answer is YES, then poof you’re on your way. If the answer is NO, then it doesn’t have a place and you need to let it GO! (Again, see above about CHANGING YOUR MIND, you are allowed to do so.)
The other key to finding your balance is the GUILT…if you are missing out on something because you’ve chosen to do something else, then DON’T LET the guilt monster take charge of what you’re doing at the present. SO: be with your family, be lazy, be reading, be out with friends, be traveling, be writing, be whatever you are going to do, but FULLY be THERE in that moment, let go of the guilt of not being somewhere or doing something else.
Balance can only be determined by you.
Oh and I really would love to balance on a motorcycle while doing a yoga pose. Though, I’ll need to actually learn yoga…and find a motorcycle…
How do YOU determine balance? Which pieces of your life pie are the biggest? How have you achieved balance in your own life? If so, tell us how you found it!